Stupid Fucking Wordpress

June 13th, 2009

A seemingly innocuous Wordpress update earlier today seems to have eradicated the cool Flickr-feed sidebar I had going for so long, and much to my chagrin it appears that the new revision won’t support that widget’s code.

So now it is dead, and I feel its absence in the upper-right-hand corner of the sidebar like a missing testicle in your mother’s nutsack.

R! I! P!

The Top Ten Albums of 1987

May 31st, 2009

I know, right? Sylvian over what are arguably the best albums by Prince and Gn’F'nR? A tough choice, but it came down to consistency: Secrets of the Beehive is flawless front to back, a trait not shared by its overlong contemporaries. ‘87 is a bit of a weird year, a mix of great records, many of them acknowledged classics, that nonetheless come up just short of perfection. I chalk it up to this being one of the first years that vinyl lost a lot of ground to CD, a format that lends itself to over-indulgence and the inclusion of songs better suited to b-sides (a phenomenon that persists to this day). Happily, however, we’re arriving at a point in time when I was actively listening to some of the albums hitting the top ten. I haven’t slipped in any real guilty, nostalgia-tinged pleasures yet (Def Leppard almost made the cut this time), but as we inch closer to the 90s I’m sure it will be unavoidable!


1. David Sylvian – Secrets of the Beehive


2. Prince – Sign o’ the Times


3. Guns N’ Roses – Appetite for Destruction


4. Sonic Youth – Sister


5. Spacemen 3 – The Perfect Prescription


6. Dinosaur Jr. – You’re Living All Over Me


7. The Smiths – Strangeways, Here We Come


8. Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician


9. Ryuichi Sakamoto – Neo Geo


10. U2 – The Joshua Tree

Further recommendations:

  • Harold Budd – The White Arcades
  • Felt – Poem of the River
  • Tom Waits – Franks Wild Years
  • Warren Zevon – Sentimental Hygiene
  • George Harrison – Cloud Nine
  • Mastodon – Minneapolis 4/29/09 (Fine Line)

    April 30th, 2009

    Considering the band played First Ave. and Myth on its last two tours, the Fine Line was obviously going to be a sell-out. I got there just in time to see Kylesa, an amazing Georgian metal band with two drummers and a female frontwoman. As you can imagine, there were some totally insane percussive interludes. A whole contigent of Kylesa fans mobbed the stage and honestly, it felt like they could’ve been the headliners at a venue this small. I was suitably impressed, and made my way to buy a t-shirt, but every reasonable size was already sold out; so it goes.

    After a lengthy setup, especially for a club date, Mastodon took the stage with a giant video monitor behind them and tore through the entirety of Crack the Skye in one epic, hour-long set. Being a mammoth (ha!) fan of the new album, I was really waiting for this: their entire conceptual masterpiece played live as one giant song. It did not dissapoint. Scott Kelly of Neurosis designed the video that played on the big screen, an insane montage of “Nova”-style galaxy footage and loops from Eisenstein’s Alexander Nevsky and Ivan the Terrible. Considering the surface plot of Skye’s rock opera involves astral projection and Rasputin as a central character, this was so thoroughly meta that it blew my mind.

    Of course, the underlying theme of the record is Brann Dailor’s sister committing suicide when he was a teenager, and the show was suitably emotional. Everyone played their hearts out, and Troy Sanders really had a chance to shine, as the majority of the vocals on Skye feature his clean and melodic baritone. Troy Sanders, of course, managed to play the most complex of riffs and solos easily while, ostensibly, completely smashed, and his weird Ozzy-esque clean vocals meshed with absolutely stomach-churning animal screams. In essence: the whole place went insane.

    After a brief break the boys were back, playing a second set dedicated to their back catologue. They regressed backwards in time, playing huge chunks of their older albums in reverse order, admirably hewing to the major themes of Crack the Skye. For the encore, they tore into a devastating 15-minute long version of “Hearts Alive”, and the crowd, myself included, went apeshit. Sold, motherfuckers!

    During the initial hours of the concert, in between openers, lots of people where talking about what bullshit it was for Mastodon to be playing at such a tiny and, admittedly, non-metal venue. But I didn’t hear a negative word during the post-show exodus; everyone was too busy raving about the opportunity to see one of the biggest metal acts in the world play such an intimate show.

    Setlist:

    1st Set:
    Crack the Skye
    ::which is::
    “Oblivion”
    “Divinations”
    “Quintessence”
    “The Czar”
    “Ghost of Karelia”
    “Crack the Skye”
    “The Last Baron”

    2nd Set:
    “Bladecatcher”
    “Colony of Birchmen”
    “The Wolf is Loose”
    “Crystal Skull”
    “Capillarian Crest”
    “Megalodon”
    “Seabeast”
    “Iron Tusk”
    “March of the Fire Ants”

    Encore:
    “Hearts Alive”

    Classy

    March 27th, 2009

    Maggie is pregnant as hell!

    The Top Ten Albums of 1986

    March 23rd, 2009

    This list has been finalized for more than a month, but I’m a lazy fuck, so you’ll get it now and like it! Of all the years thus far, I think I developed a special place in my heart for ‘86. All of these records are just stellar listens and should be in anyone’s collection. Thrash dominates the upper echelons with 2 of the 3 best thrash records of all time making an appearance. David Sylvian makes a big splash, too; I own almost everything the guy has ever done but have hardly put anything on a list yet. But then, Gone To Earth could’ve been a #1 in any other year not quite so frontloaded… Well, it may sound bizarre, but this year’s top ten really seems to express something unique about my personality. I get such a smile from this music! Please enjoy – おねがい!


    1. Metallica – Master Of Puppets


    2. The Smiths – The Queen Is Dead


    3. David Sylvian – Gone To Earth


    4. Slayer – Reign In Blood


    5. Elvis Costello – The King Of America


    6. XTC – Skylarking


    7. Felt – Forever Breathes The Lonely Word


    8. Ástor Piazzolla – Tango: Zero Hour


    9. The Chameleons – Strange Times


    10. Coil – Horse Rotorvator

    Further recommendations:

  • Big Black – Atomizer
  • Peter Gabriel – So
  • Paul Simon – Graceland
  • Spacemen 3 – Sound Of Confusion
  • Sonic Youth – EVOL
  • Maggie Lyon, Television Superstar!

    February 25th, 2009

    My wife was on the Fox Morning Show today, teaching everyone how to make spring rolls! Listen while she fucking teaches, dammit! Heads up: there’s a little commercial before you dive into MaggieLand.

    Look for Maggie Lyon Brand™ Spring Rolls in your grocer’s freezer case starting today! I will be hand-delivering them and selling them to you at gunpoint!

    The Top Ten Albums of 1985

    January 31st, 2009

    I loved preparing for the ‘85 list, because there was so much new music for me to explore. Definitely the most of any year so far! Shoegaze begins with The Jesus & Mary Chain, emo begins with Rites of Spring, and pop music in its various forms dominates the lower depths of my top ten. Kate Bush almost grabbed the pole position, but once again there’s no topping Tom Waits, who delivers what will almost certainly be remembered as his finest album.


    1. Tom Waits – Rain Dogs


    2. Kate Bush – Hounds Of Love


    3. Hüsker Dü – New Day Rising


    4. The Fall – This Nation’s Saving Grace


    5. The Jesus & Mary Chain – Psychocandy


    6. The Replacements – Tim


    7. Brian Eno – Thursday Afternoon


    8. Tears For Fears – Songs From The Big Chair


    9. The Smiths – Meat Is Murder


    10. The Waterboys – This Is The Sea

    Further recommendations:

  • Dire Straits – Brothers In Arms
  • Einstürzende Neubauten – 1/2 Mensch
  • Meat Puppets – Up On The Sun
  • Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians – Fegmania!
  • Rites Of Spring – Rites Of Spring
  • My Top Ten Films of 2008…

    January 8th, 2009

    …can be found on the film-related website I share with my wife, Tits & Gore!

    http://www.titsandgore.com/

    Please check it out and share your thoughts!

    The Top Ten Albums of 2008

    January 4th, 2009

    2008 was an amazing year for music, and I have no doubt that it will be remembered as such in another ten years. A wide variety of genres are represented this year, from progressive death metal to ambient noise to pop rock. Though the list is largely dominated by beloved acts making arguably the best records of their careers (with the exception of Eno & Byrne, whose effortlessness nonetheless bears rewarding), the list is topped by a debut, and one of the best debuts I’ve ever heard! If Fleet Foxes don’t implode under the weight of their monumental success, I can’t even begin to imagine what their second album may sound like…

    This year I’ve also posted a list of my 30 favorite individual tracks of the year, and am joined by John Macintosh and Todd Haymaker in my list-making endeavors! Onwards!


    1. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes


    2. Portishead – Third


    3. Opeth – Watershed


    4. TV On The Radio – Dear Science


    5. Lindsey Buckingham – Gift Of Screws


    6. Deerhunter – Microcastle / Weird Era Cont.


    7. Fuck Buttons – Street Horrrsing


    8. Earth – The Bees Made Honey In The Lion’s Skull


    9. Brian Eno & David Byrne – Everything That Happens Will Happen Today


    10. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend

    Further recommendations:

  • Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!
  • Fucked Up – The Chemistry of Common Life
  • The Dodos – Visiter
  • Coldplay – Viva La Vida
  • This Will Destroy You – This Will Destroy You
  • The Top 30 Songs of 2008

    January 4th, 2009

    I wanted to do something a little different this year and come up with a list of top tracks, not only to single out the best tracks from my top ten but also to recognize the many great songs that didn’t have an associated album on the main list. Since I turned 30 around the time I started compiling the list, I decided that a top 30 would be appropriate!

    If you would like to hear these tracks for yourself, send me an email and I’d be happy to burn the list to disc and mail it to you!

    1. Fleet Foxes – “White Winter Hymnal”
    2. Deerhunter – “Nothing Ever Happened”
    3. Justice – “Planisphere”
    4. Beck – “Chemtrails”
    5. Lindsey Buckingham – “Love Runs Deeper”
    6. Atmosphere – “Yesterday”
    7. MGMT – “Time To Pretend”
    8. Portishead – “Machine Gun”
    9. TV On The Radio – “Crying”
    10. Vampire Weekend – “Oxford Comma”
    11. The Fall – “50 Year Old Man”
    12. Fuck Buttons – “Colours Move”
    13. Brian Eno & David Byrne – “Strange Overtones”
    14. The Mars Volta – “Wax Simulacra”
    15. Opeth – “The Lotus Eater”
    16. Black Mountain – “Wucan”
    17. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – “Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!”
    18. Department of Eagles – “Around The Bay”
    19. The Magnetic Fields – “The Nun’s Litany”
    20. The Lord Dog Bird – “The Gift Of Song In The Lion’s Den”
    21. Fucked Up – “Son The Father”
    22. Gojira – “Oroborus”
    23. Zombie Zombie – “Driving This Road Until Death Sets You Free”
    24. Coldplay – “Strawberry Swing”
    25. My Morning Jacket – “Thank You Too!”
    26. Earth – “Miami Morning Coming Down II (Shine)”
    27. Have A Nice Life – “Bloodhail”
    28. The Hold Steady – “Lord, I’m Discouraged”
    29. Grace Jones – “William’s Blood”
    30. Animal Collective – “Water Curses”